Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

Last Updated: 03.07.2025 07:00

Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

Subway owner buys mega-popular chicken chain in $1 billion deal - AL.com

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

The sadness was still there.

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

Scientists detect light passing through entire human head, opening new doors for brain imaging - Medical Xpress

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

Cardinals Place Jordan Walker On 10-Day IL, Select Ryan Vilade - MLB Trade Rumors

I was tired of fighting.

I was tired of trying and failing.

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

Aston Martin reveals track-day version of Valkyrie Le Mans Hypercar - Motorsport.com

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

Panama Canal boss warns MSC ports deal threatens principle of neutrality - ft.com

It’s still here.

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

I had run out of hope.

Is it ethical for same-sex couples to raise children?

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

It’s here now, writing to you.

Why are white women so overly emotional?

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

You are like me, then.

How do I remove frizz from hair?

Be who you already are.

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

Why do girls not like some guys at the university?

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

And the sadness?